Thoughts On Marriage | One Month In

Sunday, 30 September 2018

Here's the thing: everyone will tell you that being married doesn't change anything. 'It feels exactly the same,' 'everything goes back to normal as soon as the day has ended,' etc. But, in my experience so far, that's not exactly true.

We got married a month ago today (wahay!) and while it's true that not a lot has changed in terms of day to day life, I certainly *feel* different. My family sitch is less than conventional, which has always left me feeling mildly untethered. My best friends are my family (alongside my mum), but as for the big, smiling hallmark card of a family some others may have, I had nada. Getting married has left me with a feeling of... security, is probably the best word for it, the kind I imagine others get when posing for said Hallmark card. Emotional security is so underrated, and it's what I feel I now have. With that, I feel more at peace in myself - I've done it, I've chosen someone to spend the rest of my days with and, in a way, it's one thing ticked off the lifelong to do list. We all want to be loved, and now I'm guaranteed that long term. And if not, I'm at least guaranteed a nice divorce settlement, bitch better have my money if he decides to leave. I will not stay classy, San Diego ;)

With that peace comes a freedom. Freedom to change my career and not feel anxious about how I'll support myself while training (I won't be sponging off my husband, I have my own income, but it's nice to know he is happy to help me if I need it, and I now feel more at ease accepting that help), freedom to want to have children at some point, without worrying what will happen if things don't go according to plan,  freedom to look to the future without that doubt of 'but will he even be in my future?' And freedom to love. Without boundaries, as cheesy as that is and as much as I'm cringing writing this down. Love for my husband, and love for the other loves of my life - my best friends, because romantic love isn't the only love you need, and it's not the only love that matters, either. Y'all have a piece of me, chaps, I'm not going anywhere.

As for the first month of marriage? It's been a lot of fun. We've had a minimoon, we've planned for our future, we've eaten a lot of pie and chocolate brownies and spag bol soaked in red wine (a specialty of mine. Always with the alcohol infused red meat), we've got stuck in spring cleaning our house and carrying on with the home reno that got ignored during wedding prep, and cleaning every room to within an inch of our lives. My loving husband is scrubbing the bathroom right now, in fact, as I watch Veronica Mars in my dressing gown. So yeah, married life is going pretty much according to plan.

I would highly recommend ;)


Here's To 5 Years Of...

Saturday, 29 September 2018

... Italian food, dog walks, spooning, lie ins, Netflix binges, love and laughter. Possibly babies, a few more cats, couple of otters, you know, all the animals.

And here's to 5 years of trying to remember to document our day to day in my new diary. Stranger things have happened ;)

Which leads me on to a mini photo dump...

No pets on the bed = an ongoing failure

Homemade pie :) Success in that it was (and always is) delish. Not a success in that I burned my arm and am now scarred for life. I call it my wife scar. It is there as a reminder that ordering in is always the best idea. Recipe here

I'm on a strict budget this month, due to going MAD on shopping last month. My whole wardrobe has been updated, though, so...

They think they can't be seen. LOL.

And, finally, get yourself a husband that has a bath waiting after a long work day. Not mine though, he's taken.

Lottie xxx

When You're Not The Only Blonde In Your Husband's Life

Good job I'm not the jealous type. Ha ;)

The Secret (Love) Lives Of 8 Year Olds

Friday, 28 September 2018

'Luca has a GIRLFRIEND,' my best friend told us in our group chat with D this morning, 'she's liked him FOR AGES.' 'OMG,' I replied, '... but what happened to Tilly*?'

Tilly was Luca's first love. She sits next to him in class and, recently, I accidentally made him cry when I asked him about her because, and I quote 'everyone keeps saying we're going to get married.' Poor kid got cold feet, clearly. Mate, it happens. Which leads me to believe that Luca never truly loved Tilly the way he thought he did, that time he asked all the girls in his class to line up so he could present the prettiest one (her, it was a set up, he got reprimanded for the whole thing by his teachers) with chocolates, and was in fact just doing what young lovers will do, testing the waters

Now, he has met Laney.* Could she be the one? Watch this space. (Also, has anyone told Tilly the wedding is off? Because that could get real awkward real fast, them being in the same class and all.)

Leora, his twin, is playing her usual love games. I like to think of her as the 'future mob wife,' of my friend's children, due to the fact the girl has such balls and moxy. And the fact that she's been dating a rich kid with wealth of questionable means since she was 4. FOUR. That's half of her entire life. Ay Carumba

This boy, Alfie*, broke Leora's heart last year, when he unceremoniously dumped her for a girl in her class, Ella*. Leora stayed classy, on the surface. At school, she wore her prettiest hairbands, she smiled, she announced that Ella was still a good friend and that there were no hard feelings. She took another lover (as it were, she's still 8, it was an affair of hand holding) to make Alfie jealous. Max,* poor Max, a pawn in her endless plans for world/Alfie domination

As she knew he would, Alfie became desperately lovesick. Telling Ella he had never stopped having feelings for Leora, he left her just before Valentine's Day, begging Leora to take him back, and presenting her with a chocolate rose and a card addressed to 'my love'

She told us all of this one day, an extremely smug air about her, when we picked her up from school. We were horrified. Luca rolled his eyes at his sister's antics, as we discussed her skills under our breath. Where did she learn such high class manipulation? Probably from a Little Mix video

Fast forward a few months, and Leora and Alfie are on again off again, the same saga playing out over and over, with Max as a willing (perhaps mildly dim?) pawn. Ask her about it and each time, the drama has intensified. This week, she simply can't walk away because, in her words, she 'still has feelings for him.' Again, she is EIGHT

Honestly, this is my favourite soap opera.

Is there any wonder these two are the case studies I use for my child psych course?

*Pulls out the popcorn, texts for an update, gasps in delight and horror*

*Names changed to protect the not at all innocent.

The Best Tradition

Thursday, 27 September 2018

A garter on your wedding day. that is a tradition (one we chose to ignore)

Christening your child, even if you're not religious. That is a tradition (one we probs won't go through with)

Turkey with all the trimmings on Christmas day. That is a tradition (one I will forever bow down to)

And Chaes chips with gravy every week after badminton. That is a tradition (one that is expanding our waistlines)



The Dreaded Name Change

Monday, 24 September 2018

My name. My birth name. Is lovely.

Never liked my middle name, I'll admit. But the rest of it? Golden.

My married name, however, took some building up to. It is not the kind of name that stops people in their tracks to say 'that's pretty,' like the one I was born into. It's not awful, but it's just not... y'know, LOVELY.

As such, I ummed and aaahed over what to do about it. Modern women keep their own name these days, a lot. And I considered it, briefly. But at the end of the day, I want our 1 2 3 4 5 babies to all share my name, and so I went for it. I made the change. And now I am someone new

I don't hate it. In fact, I kinda love it, which I could have predicted if I wasn't so - as D said in his wedding speech - bloody stubborn

What I DO hate, if you're asking, is the dreaded post wedding wedmin that accompanies updating one's identity. I have 20 forms waiting to be signed and sent this weekend, and that's just the start of it. To which I have to say this: thank god for ‘Name Switch’ (a service that did a lot of the heavy lifting for me) thank god for soothing cups of tea and salted caramel macarons and printers that save me from handwritten notes, and thank god for a husband worth this hassle.

#WedminHell #SaveMe #PopTheKettleOnLove


Friday, Filtered

Friday, 21 September 2018

Or should I say... FriYAY? WOOP WOOP!


Thursday, 20 September 2018

Being a Nottingham lass, Brian Clough is high on my hero list. Brian Clough, and Robin Hood. Who 100% was real. No-one fight me on this, I will keep going until I win. Today marks the anniversary of Cloughie passing away, which gives me an excuse to bring him up in conversation which, let’s be honest, I do often anyway. His face is on a coaster on my desk, pointed to look at my desk fellow Sam, who supports Derby County, a rival team to my beloved Nottingham Forest, who Bri left for us, before turning us into the absolute champions we already knew we were.

On our first date, over gin in a pop up bar on the Southbank, D asked me who he might know from Nottingham, fame wise. And when I said ‘Brian Clough,’ he gave a knowing nod, said ‘oh yeah, I know Brian Clough,’ and then, in an ice breaking moment that turned our date from a bit nervy to completely relaxed, ‘what band was he in again?’

Oh dear, oh dear. Never before have I had the opportunity to educate a man on football. I loved it.

The rest of our first date wasn’t football manager related, but the above was a nice segue way into briefly recounting it. It was a weeknight, in a heat wave. I wore a black dress, red shoes and a denim jacket, and we met in Waterloo station outside Pret. Being a northern boy fresh off the boat, D’s original direction was very vague – ‘meet me in Waterloo,’ he said, discounting the size of the place, which meant it took us forever to find one another. But we got there, eventually, and when we did, the evening went as follows: went to a mini food festival outside Waterloo, drank wine. Went for a walk along the Southbank, shouted ‘play Star Wars’ at a man playing bagpipes beneath the boardwalk, repeated it several times as he yelled ‘Spanish?’ back at us – D’s accent was rather thick. Gave up, continued our walk. Had a browse of Udderbelly fest. Had a kiss on the pier. ‘You need a bit of northern in you,’ he said to me, before blushing at his error – apparently he’d meant to say ‘in your life.’ Went on the London Eye. Went to Pizza Express. He told me he wanted 5 kids. I gulped. He insisted he take me home, I fell to sleep on him on the tube. We kissed goodnight. Fin.

Three years later, that hapless northern man shouting Star Wars at strangers is my husband. And my Brian Clough coaster reminds me of home – in where I’m from, and who I’m with

RIP Cloughie, you’ll always loom large in our lives x

P.S. Sam sent me this sound bite, telling a funny story about Brian Clough. Worth a listen

Sunflower Sunday

Monday, 17 September 2018

D fit blinds in our windows this weekend, a task we've been putting off since we moved in. And what a difference it made - the place feels so much more of a home. In celebration, we put sunflowers on the sills, and invited his whole family over for dinner. I made a tikka masala from scratch, and our funny little niece (who is posh enough to have named her wedding favour, a unicorn, 'Darling,' who likes to tell us that her favourite colour is brown, and who refuses to wear clothes that have the tags attached) made MMMMMMM noises all the way through eating it. Which is how I knew I'd done well. We chatted and ate apple pie and played with the dogs, and it was not far short of a perfect family gathering. What a lovely way to spend a Sunday - I hope yours was as good as ours

(And that your sunflowers are just as sunny🌻🌻🌻)

'You're Dead Broody You Are...'

... Said a friend at work on Friday, because I was monitoring the growth of an avocado plant. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but women do not birth avo's, so the link is kinda lost on me, ALEX, MIND YOUR OWN. (I mean, she's not wrong, but still, can't a girl coo at a plant anymore without scrutiny? Heavens above)

Anyway, I have mentioned this avocado before, and I felt compelled to share an update, because everyone at work keeps being all 'LOL it's not even growing,' and despite it not even being mine, I feel very protective of this little guy (aptly named Guac A Mole) because yes, I have watched him develop right from being a conker floating in water speared with paperclips, and yes I have seen many a quizzical glance thrown his way ('they mean well, they just don't understand,' says his father, Sam) and yes, I have watched with open curiosity as Sam monitors his daily progress, which means that yes, I can report that, ACTUALLY, there has been undeniable growth, you ignorant swines, he's doing VERY WELL if you must know, and it's VERY DAMAGING to his self esteem to say otherwise.

Broody, I am. Guac A Mole defender, I shall be.

... Maybe it's time to talk babies.

L xxx

To Be Abundantly Clear...

Sunday, 16 September 2018

... Still a cat person.

From our bed to yours, we wish you goodnight and goodmeow

Sweet dreams xx

My Favourite Part Of The Day Was...

As you can see, we took our big day super seriously.


L xx

Wedding Leftovers Pt.2

The first try on of THE suit. Sexy beast

And the first try on of the final outfit

Trialling make up, and the MOTB outfit

Dress dress DRESS

The taming of the shrew that somehow grew out of John's eyebrows, and literally poked him in the eye. I have never seen eyebrow hairs as long as these ones were

And, finally, the morning after the night before, when I went up to fetch Sarah before breakfast ended, and instead walked in on that girl from The Grudge, crawling out from under a duvet. Absolutely terrifying ;)

L xx

Wedding Leftovers Pt.1

Wedding planning on the sofa, fuelled by cheese and Netflix. Note from the change in hair colour that this exact scene occurred more than once... (our dog adores her)

A first attempt at flower girl dress shopping

And several attempts at bridesmaid dress shopping, with a wee picture I sent to Sarah after a particularly difficult day of 'can't I wear one that covers everything?'

Honestly, if I'd let her, she'd have attended our wedding dressed as a nun.

Two different Jo Malone perfume trials, with two different people. No shame

Wedding breakfast trialling

And D's customised cufflinks from his parents, which I happen to think are adorable

To be continued...

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