This Is A Shout Out To My Cats

Wednesday, 8 August 2018


When I met D, he told me he was a cat person. I remember it clearly - he had just pulled me away from the crowd I was standing/swaying drunkenly to the side of, and offered to buy me a drink. I requested a water, he also had a water, we somehow got onto the topic of cats, and he said 'oh yeah I love cats, definitely a cat person,' or something to that effect

We kissed, we arranged a date (not entirely off the back of the cat comment, but it deffo helped), and that was our beginning

Months later, when I was in too deep to walk, and he was comfortable enough to break my heart, he revealed the truth: he is a dog person

Devo'ed

Despite the LIES and the BETRAYAL, we continued as a couple. And when I say couple, I mean there were four of us, because I had two cats already, and they are my soulmates. The oldest is cuddly yet overly dramatic - she'll purr like a kitten when I fuss her, then turn around and bite me for no good reason whilst staring at me as though I've done something hateful, before flipping back to loving and sneakily attempting to chew on my hair. The youngest has the most annoying meow known to mankind, poos in the bath as a punishment if he's displeased (he has a special cry to let me know it's happened, I swear to god he brags about his sins) and yet is an absolute sweetheart, who likes/demands to sleep on the right side of the bed, spends hours guarding our garage, and gains so much weight every winter that he resembles Henry the 8th

For a time, despite D's treachery, the four of us were our own special unit. Him, and us (we came as a package). Us, and him. Luckily he loved the two of them dearly, and the oldest liked him (the youngest is a mummy's boy, but eventually came around). All was calm, all was bright

And then, one day, his natural urges kicked in, and he told me he wanted a dog. A big dog, he said. And so, to save the cats from the jaws of something enormous, we settled on a Golden Retriever. And then we also got a labrador

And life has never looked quite so hair free since

I love all of our pets dearly, don't get me wrong. But the cats? Oh man, the cats, they deserve a shout out all of their own. My two littlest loves for the past 9 years, each with so much sass I can barely keep up with their moods. I love it. I love them. And I love that it's international cat day today because, let's face it, felines are our friends, and each and every one of them is special AF

Guys, you're the best.

And D? One day I might forgive you. But perhaps don't hold your breath... ;)

L xx

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